


Grievance

by char1ynch



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Denial, Depressed Max Caufield, Emotionally Repressed, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Grahamfield friendship, Heavy Angst, I Made Myself Cry, Loss, Repressed Memories, Sacrifice Chloe Ending, marshfield friendship, pricefield
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-22 05:47:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17657060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/char1ynch/pseuds/char1ynch
Summary: She is drowning without her.





	Grievance

**Author's Note:**

> Some people had commented about how this was hard for them to read due to the story not being spaced out enough, so i adjusted the spacing to make reading a little easier, i hope it help(s/ed).

The pain was _unbearable._ She feared that she would choke on her own grief and the tears that spilled from her eyes, but she found that something she could want now that she was alone again, and for good this time. In the end, she had made the painful choice to rewind time and let Chloe sacrifice herself for the greater good, but she felt hollow and empty as she passed through the halls of Blackwell Academy and saw all the smiling faces of her _living_ peers. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fucking fair that all of those assholes got to smile, and laugh, and throw themselves into new experiences while Chloe rotted 6 feet under the soil, permanently 19.

 

Max hadn’t done much of anything lately, and her friends began to worry about her, but she didn’t care how self destructive she was being, she just wanted to feel anything other than this eternal pain that would stay with her until the end of her days. She was currently lying in her bedroom, back facing the door, when her door slowly opened up and in walked Warren and Kate, who wore matching expressions of sympathy. She turned briefly to look at the pair, before facing the wall once more, now devoid of any signs of Chloe because it was too painful and she wasn’t ready to face the devastating realization, not yet. She felt the unoccupied space of her small bed sink down and she knew they were sitting there watching her, no doubt trying to figure out things that they could say to make her grief lessen, but she knew it was futile.

 

“Max.” She heard Warren say softly, and she couldn’t bear to look at him, couldn’t bear to see the one question she knew she was unable to answer in full honesty, to anyone who was concerned enough to ask.

 

~~_“Are you okay?”_ ~~

 

“We just want to help Max.” She heard the blonde chime in and that’s when her facade began to crumble. There were people who wanted to help her, people who cared enough about her and her mental state to want to help her prevail through what she was feeling, but that voice in her head still persisted against it, so she ignored them and continued to stare at the blank wall inches in front of her. She heard a sigh escape from one of their lips and she felt the bed shift as one of her visitors got up to leave.

 

“Max, you know we’re always here for you. Just please let us try. Please.” Kate pleaded one more time, even going as far as to lay her palm on her hand, which enticed a flinch from the small brunette. She felt the tears escaping her eyes and staining the pillow underneath her head and she didn’t want to look at either of them and see their pity, but she just needed to be held and comforted by someone, even if it wasn’t the arms of the person she loved most in this whole entire world.

 

Without warning, she flipped onto her side and placed her head onto her friends lap, crying loudly as the sadness she was feeling was fully realized by her two best friends, who were quick to treat her as gently as possible and do anything they could to slightly make her feel better, even though they both knew their efforts would take a lot of time. A few hours passed and Warren had to leave before David caught him, but Kate stayed with her all throughout the night, holding her hand and speaking to her about the most mundane of topics, all to try and take her mind away from the significant loss she was still desperately trying to cope with.

 

When she went to sleep this time, there were still those nightmares that sent her into a state of an almost mental breakdown, but for the most part, she didn’t dream of anything except for Chloe and all the times they had that were the happiest for them, including the ones that she had repressed when she left for Seattle. The pain still woke her up, but it was quickly replaced by an intense longing. So as quietly as she possibly could, she crept over to her closet and pulled out the box that contained various mementos from her childhood and by the moonlight seeping through the window, she examined every photograph, every charm, every letter from Chloe, and she let herself fully feel what she was repressing due to the sake of her friends. She wanted to scream, to pound her fists against the carpeted floor underneath her, she just wanted the older girl to hold her tightly to her chest and whisper reassurances in her ear.

 

_“Don’t look so sad I’m never leaving you.”_

 

_“When we grow up, we’re taking over the world.”_

 

_“Those memories are real and they’ll always be ours.”_

 

She opened her eyes and took a deep breath to settle herself down. She didn’t want to wake Kate or half of the other fucking girls she shared this dorm with and have them treat her like she was something fragile, so with a heavy heart, she lifted herself from the floor and crept over to her desk, where her laptop sat. She opened the device and spent the remainder of the night looking through various photographs that she had uploaded to her laptop, most of them being of the blue haired, tall female who made her feel so many emotions at once that it was hard to vocalize, the person she knew she would love forever and even afterwards. She laughed at the goofy pictures and swallowed her grief at the more intimate ones, and after she was satiated, she wordlessly climbed back into the security of her bed and closed her eyes, willing herself to try and get a few more hours of sleep before she had to trudge through her classes for the day.

 

When sleep came for her a third time, she went willingly and with a sense of peace washing over her small frame, because she knew that even though she didn’t have Chloe in physical form, she would always have her memories and the lasting impact she had left on her life, even though it would take time to fully digest what she was feeling. But the one thing she was sure of, and she knew that she would always be sure of, is that she loved Chloe Price, and she always would, no matter what the future held for her.

**Author's Note:**

> hope everyone enjoyed this sad thing I wrote for no reason except to make myself sad. please leave kudos and comments though, because they motivate me a lot and make me happy! i hope you all are well x.


End file.
